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Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
