I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
