i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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