Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize