I'm so fucking centered right now
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize