HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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