Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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