if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I need help removing her.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
