i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
