i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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