The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
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