Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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