It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
