But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
