I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
