this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
