I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
now i know why i became what i already was.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
