LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
