I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
