Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
bring money and cleavage
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
