he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
