Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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