im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
