i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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