just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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