Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Randomize
