Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
