um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
