When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize