if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
two words...techno handjob
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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