so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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