Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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