I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize