he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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