WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
