How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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