Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
