she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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