there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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