dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
