When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize