Swine flu is the new snow day.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
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