My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
