Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize