And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize