she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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