Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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