I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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