Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
