my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
