I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
