worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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