No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
