I'm lost and stupid without you.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
