i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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