Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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